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Think I need to re read this one I remember thinking it was important and thought provoking. Alice Miller s thinking is hard to find all in one book, but this is a good starting place Read as many as you need to to learn how the attitude toward and treatment of children effects the individual and entire societies. I recognize that there has been a backlash against Alice Miller s way of thinking, that there is the sense that she has overstated her case against the cruelties parents ignorantly inflict on their children In the 1980s, when I first discovered her works For Your Own Good and Thou Shalt Not Be Aware , I became a father and was given much to chew on.There s in Miller a very strong, earnest message, a way of seeing child rearing that is much at odds with the general way we in the West have practiced it for millennia Her message is no less earthshaking than Freud s, when he insisted that children carried within them powerful sexual desires that very often led people into neurotic behavior as adults Miller, on the other hand, contends that children are innocent of such desires, and that natural cravings for love in children are quashed and demeaned by parents compelled to repeat their own, similar, traumatic upbringings The word trauma triggers for most of us a vision of large emotional explosions, but Miller asserts that the occasions for psychic wounds may be as easily be a parent s silence and absence She explains that the sensitive child, in particular, is apt to react with grief, bewilderment, and repressed hurt to parents slights.In the two books I d read earlier, with their scholarly review of pedagogical texts through the centuries and the series of case studies, there seemed a poetic leap, a bridging of phenomena with an imaginative reconstruction of emotion and affect While intuitively, it sounds plausible, there has always been at the back of my mind the question about what one does as an adult to abolish the trauma and resume the loving, innocent naivete of one s childhood I envision it as an attempt to return to Edenic circumstances, a quest that will never be fulfilled.A further concern as a parent is what, specifically, does good parenting look like There are suggestions that it entails a selfless concern for the child s welfare, but in my experience that is nearly impossible And perhaps that is my own upbringing that is speaking the unwillingness or inability to give wholly and selflessly to ensure my child s intact psyche In any case, this later work by Miller covers the same ground and makes the case that a witness may help an abusive parent uncover the wellsprings of his or her abusive behavior in their own upbringing But there seems a mechanism in the rehabilitation of the abusive parent that is missing how does knowledge of the past make a better parent or restore to the parent what he had himself suppressed The underlying point Miller makes is sound parents can be unnecessarily and ignorantly cruel, little realizing the harm they can do, even when their cruelty entails only silence, absence or slighting words Care and vigilance may help to break the cycle of abuse and it can be ever so slight to constitute abuse in her estimation , but this hypervigilance is a challenge that few of us will be able to implement Not that we shouldn t try If I d read this book a year ago, I d have given it 5 stars for its take no prisoners approach to condemning abusive parenting practices.Miller shines a merciless spotlight on what s wrong with many of the fundamental assumptions that many parents make when it comes to dealing with their children, and clearly shows how much deep, lasting damage can be done in the name of teaching lessons and discipline.Miller s motto is the child is always right In the past, I would have agreed 100% Now, I have a slightly different view the child is always good Which sounds like semantics, but actually makes all the difference in the world, because even abusive parents were once children, and reminding them of their innate goodness instead of just condemning the cruel characters they ve become is the key to really healing the problem.So still a great, if harsh book to read by a former psychoanalyst, that does a very good job of describing the basic problem, but falls short in terms of finding a truly acceptable solution. This book changed my life It helped me begin to face the depth of my childhood pain. Deserves 7 stars This was so amazing that I had to re read several chapters and went back for so incrediblely important.Please read thisyou owe yourself and your children the knowledge presented between the covers of what Alice Miller has to say.I m moved beyond words and can t digest all of itgoing back for Let the ramifications of this banished knowledge sink into my phychie and absorb the consequences of denial that has put our children in danger.Totally life changingI must study this deeper been a long time but I recall this book in particular was excellent In her previous excellent book, THE DRAMA OF THE GIFTED CHILD, Alice Miller still wrote from a psychoanalytic frame of reference Now she has abandoned that model of therapy, believing that it only further instills in the client a repression of feeling memory.Everyone who thinks that s he might be a parent should read this.Just wait until you read her observation about Santa Claus What a revelation From BANISHED KNOWLEDGE Every child depends on others for the satisfaction of his needs because he cannot look after himself The only possible recourse a baby has when his screams are ignored is to repress his distress, which is tantamount to mutilating his soul, for the result is an interference with his ability to feel, to be aware, and to remember Many people still have no idea that they are placing dynamite in our world when they abuse their children physically or even only psychically They describe their actions as proper and necessary Not to take one s own suffering seriously, to make light of it or even laugh at it, is considered good manners in our culture This attitude is even called a virtue, and many people are proud of their lack of sensitivity toward their own fate and above all toward their own childhood Philosophers and other intellectuals have fashioned numerous ways of keeping pain at a distance with the aid of thoughts and of disregarding the realities of life with the aid of an ostensibly befining language Well written 3 Kept attention 3. ^READ EPUB ☙ Das verbannte Wissen ☝ Amazing Ebook, Das Verbannte Wissen Author Alice Miller This Is Very Good And Becomes The Main Topic To Read, The Readers Are Very Takjup And Always Take Inspiration From The Contents Of The Book Das Verbannte Wissen, Essay By Alice Miller Is Now On Our Website And You Can Download It By Register What Are You Waiting For Please Read And Make A Refission For You